Apeosauritis
by Jacob, age 10
Written during The Encyclopedia of Imaginary Disorders and Oddities, taught by Elizabeth Bachner & Krista Ingebretson
November 2007
(Affects Ape and Ape-Men) Apeosauritis is a disorder that usually affects Ape-Men. It can occasionally affect Great Apes (chimpanzees, gorillas, orangutans, etc.) The only thing that causes it is if an Ape-Man or Great Ape somehow mates with a reptile. An Ape with Apeosauritis is called an Apeosaur. A baby Apeosaur would grow scaly hands and feet. It would rest on rocks in the sun all day. It would also flick out its tongue like a lizard or a snake.
Charlie's Mission
by Charlie, age 6
Written during Secret Agent Training, taught by Elaine Palucki
October 2007
Our spy has a name that doesn't look like a name. You wouldn't know it was a name. It looks like this: CWQhrtY. People call him Mr. C.
Our spy is 6 years old. He lives in Brooklyn. He has a cat.
A Cheater Named Turquoise
by Darious, Corey and Khaled, ages 9 and 10
Written during Drop-In Tutoring
December 2007
Once there was a man named Turquoise. He had red hair, and he always wore turquoise because he was on a baseball team called Rockets to the Moon. The team played on the moon, which was dangerous, because if you lost a match, everything went black, another player crashed into you, and you flew into space forever and ever. This was called Sudden Death.
Stinky Cheeseman
by Alex, age 7
Written during Drop-In Tutoring
October 2006
One day, there was a cheeseman. He had bacon for a mouth, and he had two circle crackers for eyes. One day he went out to get some errands. He bought milk and what he used to eat was only hotdogs with no buns. Then he met a person made from ham. He had ham for a head and for his body. He had salami for arms and legs, and he had a sausage for a mouth. And he was a vegetarian.
One day they both went to the movies. Now they were friends. The movie they were watching was Star Warts. And then they did everything together. Then they became fry cooks together. They worked at a restaurant named Fresh Meat. They had burritos, they had burgers, they had fries. They even had chicken fries and meat fries. Actually, meat man's name was Hammish, because he was made from Ham.
The Revolution of the Green-Haired Bacon
Written for a Storytelling & Bookmaking field trip with Ms. Clements's 3rd-grade class from Berkeley Carroll
3/5/08
Once upon a time there was a bacon factory. And next to this bacon factory there happened to be a nuclear waste facility. One day, an unfortunate strip of extremely crispy bacon fell into an open vat of nuclear waste and when he crawled out, he had thick head of green hair. He thought to himself and decided to call himself Porkenstein von Butch.
An Informal Chat with Brendan, Creator of "Utencil Boy"
August 2005
826NYC: We're reprinting Issue 4 of your Utencil Boy comics series, "Super Ultimate Utencil Man Vs. The Perfect Person" in the new issue of the 826NYC Review. Is that one of your favorite comics you've made?
B: [Long pause] Yes. Yes it is.
Continue reading "An Informal Chat with Brendan, Creator of "Utencil Boy""
